The Show

Award shows are just pricey excuses to hook up and get drunk. So this year's Wrath is skipping the pretension and going straight to the booze.

We've got a recipe, a label design and a brewer – we just need someone to help us pay for it. That's where you come in. If your idea is used to promote our Kickstarter project, your name will be immortalized on The Grand Coney. If it all succeeds, we all get free beer. So everybody wins.

Lions and Pencils and Cubes? Please. If you float us a winning idea that fills our coffers and fries our kidneys, your name will forever live in history on a statue of a man with his head firmly up his ass.

The Competition

1. Download the Brief

Relax. We're not asking you to stop Instagraming your lunch and start working. We know most of you are huge procrastinators, but we figured there must be a few people out there who want a head start.

Download Brief

2. Drink Free Beer

Show up to the party in the first two hours and you'll experience the happiest of happy hours with free beer. There will also be a sample keg of our beer so that all may experience our bitterness.

3. Submit Idea(s) for Our Beer

Overachievers can send their ideas to anytime before the party. But if you're like most if the industry, your best thinking won't come around until the night before, so sharpies and paper will be provided at the party.

4. Be Judged

Once we've sobered up, we'll judge the entries. If you happen to make an ass of yourself at the party, don't worry. That won't have any effect on how we feel about you or your ideas.

5. Help Fund Beer

Nothing should stop you from telling all your friends (or preferably rich aunts & uncles) about the party and directing them to our Kickstarter project. Unless you're bitter we didn't select your idea, in which case you yourself should donate to the cause.

6. Drink More Beer

If we reach our Kickstarter goal, you'll all be invited back for next year's party to partake in our bitter dreams and leave with an even bigger hangover.

The Prizes

Fortune, glory and a hangover await our winners. Or at least the latter. Whether you submit your idea early or come up with it on the spot at the party on Thursday, June 20th, winners will be announced Friday, June 28th, 2013.

Grand Prize

Your name will skyrocket to semi-obscurity once etched into the base of The Grand Coney. Trade publications will tout your success online. Your parents will no longer regret their decision to pay for art school. Lastly, you'll receive a top-of-the-line homebrew kit so you can recreate all the bitterness of Wrath at home.

Runner Up

Second place will get you nowhere. But not winning is the ethos behind Wrath of Cannes Bitter Ale, so in truth, you've won. If you're looking for tangible prizes, the party should leave you with a full bladder, a decent hangover and a T-Shirt.

All Others

You get absolutely nothing. Deal with it.

The Party

Join us in bitter triumph on Thursday, June 20th from 7pm to 11pm. The first 150 people at the party will get a taste of our first batch of Wrath of Cannes Bitter Ale and we'll continue to wash away the bitterness with free beer for the first 2 hours.

The Venue

200 Orchard. Located at 200 Orchard.
A bar with its address as its name. Kinda like getting a tramp stamp of "tramp stamp."

Meet The Judges

Winston Churchill

Why he's a judge:
Bessie: "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill: "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."

Lindsay Lohan's Ankle Braclet

It knows a bad idea when it sees one, having been up-close, up-skirt and personal for many of Ms. Lohan's most tabloid worthy decisions.

David Hasselhoff

If you haven't seen The Hof whispering sweet nothings to a Cheeseburger in a blacked-out state of denial, go to YouTube immediately. We'll wait.

Drunk Uncle

There's nothing like old-time racism to really rub it in to minorities that they're still underrepresented in advertising while their cultures are mined for new ideas.

@WrathofCannes #Cannesyoupayforthis